


Flashing Lights

by thegrimshapeofyoursmile



Series: Terrible Love [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Fenders, M/M, basically sex and angst, kind of a Brothel!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 16:56:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrimshapeofyoursmile/pseuds/thegrimshapeofyoursmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. There was no point in following this human woman up the stairs and along a ridiculously soft-carpeted corridor to an unassuming, green door in the middle of a whorehouse to bed a complete stranger. There was no point in-<br/>The door swung open and he locked eyes with Anders.</p>
<p>(Or: Fenris tries to do something about his complicated feelings towards sex and stumbles into Anders, who has found a very convenient way to make some extra money.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flashing Lights

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a Christmas present for my love. I hope you like it, honey, and that it's not too OOC.

"A whorehouse, he said," Fenris muttered furiously, trying to drown his doubts in alcohol. "Why didn't I tell Hawke to go fuck himself?" 

The Blooming Rose was nice for an establishment of this kind, he supposed, but it still was a place where whores and people who wanted to rent whores met. There might be people who liked places like this- Fenris knew for a fact that Hawke wasn't very against whorehouses-, but usually he wasn't among them. 

However, the truth was- he was lonely. And he didn't know how to commit to a relationship; it was a frightening concept. There was a time where he could have imagined to give his heart to Hawke, but these days were long gone. Nowadays, Hawke was just a friend, the best friend one could ever wish for, even though he had his flaws, but still only a friend.

Sex was a complicated thing. He didn't know why he wanted to try again after everything that had happened to him, but here he was, following Hawke's stupid, mortifying advice out of reasons he didn't really know. What was he even supposed to-

"You look a little lost," A voice next to him remarked and he definitely didn’t jump a little at the sudden approach, he didn’t. Madame Lusine was watching him, one of the corners of her mouth quirking up a little. “You’re one of Hawke’s companions, am I right? Haven’t you been here with him once?”

“Yes, I have,” Fenris answered, eyeing the human suspiciously. “And I am fine, thank you.”

“Are you sure? Because I think you’re not. Everyone who comes here is looking for something. Some come looking for a way to make their living, some come to escape the loneliness of their lives, some come for simple entertainment. There are many reasons and many wishes. Tell me, elf, what is it this house can bring you?”

“I don’t know,” Fenris muttered and felt the tips of his ears redden. He sensed that Madame Lusine was still watching him and suppressed a frustrated growl. “I came here to… Try. I guess.”

“What you need,” Madame Lusine said after a moment and her eyes looked far cleverer than Fenris would have preferred. “What you need is someone nice. Someone who takes care of you. You seem tense, what you need is someone to relieve you of that tension without any strings attached.”

“I-“ Fenris didn’t know what to say about that. He still didn’t know why on earth he had even considered following Hawke’s advice, but he did and it would be a waste of time not to make anything out of it, to not even try. For a moment, he was furious at himself for his timidity. “I suppose that would be…good.”

“I know, I know,” Madame Lusina told him in a quiet voice and smiled at him. “I may have exactly what you need. That is, if you like men.”

“I…sometimes.” Maybe a woman would be better, easier, but then he thought of Hadriana and his stomach churned. In some ways, Hadriana had been even worse than Danarius. 

“Very well then. You will like him- he is blond, tall, very handsome and just a very nice fellow who will gladly serve your needs.”

“Well…” Blond was good. He could do blond. Danarius had been the opposite of blond. “I suppose…”

“That’s the right thing to say, dear. Now, do you know how this works?”

“I…”

“Alright, then. Your pretty boy works for premium service, so can you afford two sovereigns?”

Fenris snorted. If there was anything he gained from following Hawke into his ridiculous adventures it was money he didn’t really need nor cared for. “Yes, that should be no problem.”

“Very well.” Madame Lusina’s smile widened even more and she gently put a hand on his shoulder. For a moment, Fenris considered leaning away, but then decided against it; she didn’t press on and there was no need to be more impolite than usual. “Allow me to lead you to him, then. He has his own room here. First however, please pay.”

“I see,” Fenris muttered, feeling absolutely foolish as he paid before he trotted along. This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. There was no point in following this human woman up the stairs and along a ridiculously soft-carpeted corridor to an unassuming, green door in the middle of a whorehouse to bed a complete stranger. There was no point in-

The door swung open and he locked eyes with Anders.

“Fuck,” Anders breathed, staring at him as wide-eyed as Fenris felt. Oddly enough, the first thing Fenris noticed was the clothes the mage wore- or rather, the lack thereof because Anders was only clad in black buckskin pants that fit impossibly tightly against his long legs. His upper body was completely naked and his blond hair was falling in soft waves onto his shoulders. When Fenris realized that he was staring at the mage, he immediately looked away, gaze falling onto the ridiculously big bed in the background. He suddenly felt the strong urge to strangle Hawke as hard as possible without killing him.

“I see, you two already like each other,” Madame Lusina said with a quiet laughter, “I’ll leave you alone then.”

Fenris didn’t even notice the door closing behind her because he was too busy staring at Anders, which was probably not the best thing to do, but then again, Anders was staring at him as well, so it probably was alright. The entire situation was just completely bizarre.

“Well, this is awkward,” Anders pointed out and laughed a little, breaking Fenris out of his immobility and causing him to blink rapidly. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He barked and Anders quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Well, what does it look like?”

“Why the fuck are you working at a whorehouse?”

“They pay pretty well, you know, and a healer with a clinic in Darktown can only pay so much bills and other things.”

“So you’re not only a mage, you’re a whore as well.”

The corners of Anders' mouth quirked upwards, but something blue flashed in his eyes when he answered, “First, a whore is only a person too and you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, else other people will do the same to you. Second, I enjoy giving pleasure to others and I am not ashamed of that, so I don’t see what’s wrong about what I am doing. What I am wondering about, however, is what _you_ are doing here, since you have no patients to take care of and this entire establishment seems to be so unworthy of you.”

“It was Hawke’s idea,” Fenris muttered and unconsciously put a hand on the hilt of his sword. “I just… That’s none of your business.”

“Considering that you apparently paid for me, it pretty much is.” The blasted mage just grinned when Fenris scowled at him and sat down on a ridiculously thick and soft carpet in front of the bed, legs spread obscenely without making it look naturally. For a mage he was surprisingly attractive. Fenris forced himself to look away. “Come here. I have wine.”

“You can’t even get drunk,” Fenris said irritably, but for a lack of better options he sat down beside Anders, reaching for the bottle the bloody mage offered him. “What the fuck do you even have wine for here?”

“Some guests like to have a drink before getting it on,” Anders said. Fenris hated him more than ever for the way he sat there, completely relaxed and smiling as if finding this entire situation nothing but hilarious. Growling, he opened the bottle- not expensive, but not overly cheap either; it would suffice- and took a long swig out of it. “So. Hawke told you to go to the Blooming Rose to visit me?”

“Not to visit you,” Fenris snapped and took another swig, “If I had known you worked here, I’d have straight up refused. It was a bad idea either way.”

Anders looked at him with his ridiculously honeyed eyes and thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “I know you hate me,” He finally said, “But I promise this will stay between us. Obviously it embarrasses you.”

“It doesn’t.”

“It doesn’t?”

“No.” Fenris could feel the tips of his ears heat up and emptied the bottle. “No, it… No.”

“Maker, you shouldn’t drink so much,” Anders laughed. Fenris tensed when the blasted mage leaned forward and put a hand on the armor of his arm. “You’re not embarrassed.”

“No.”

“You’re here to try something out?”

“I… Yes. Yes, I guess I am. Not that that’s any of your business.”

Anders laughed again and then, with a swift motion, he took the empty bottle out of Fenris’ hand, cast it aside and swung himself into Fenris’ lap, lowering his head and staring straight into his eyes. “Why not making it my business then?”

Fenris found that his mouth suddenly was very dry and he could do nothing but stare into Anders’ face when the mage carefully opened his breast plate, slowly lowering it onto the floor, before moving to the parts on his arms. Despite the armor being very intricate, Anders was swift and incredibly adept at opening the fastenings, only stopping when Fenris suddenly closed one hand around his wrist.

“You first,” He said, wondering at the roughness in his voice. Anders looked at him for a moment, bemused smile dancing in his eyes, but he slowly rose to turn his back towards Fenris before stepping out of his pants in a slow, unhurried little dance that made an unknown heat crawl up in Fenris’ chest. The elf couldn’t help but stare at the intricate pattern of scars, red and white and ugly, crisscrossing all over Anders’ back down to his ass. The mage wore nothing underneath the buckskin pants; somehow Fenris was not surprised and he also was not able to draw his gaze away from the firm backside that was presented towards him once it was revealed- at least until Anders whirled around in a smooth move and sunk to his knees so gracefully as if he was born for it.

Almost involuntarily, Fenris’ gaze dipped lower and rested on Anders’ already quite interested cock. He was definitely bigger than Fenris, but then again, Anders in general towered over him by a few inches. He was beautiful and it was so hate him, to hate everything he represented when he was bare like this, open like this.

Fenris swallowed when the mage all but crawled over towards him and back between his spread legs to peer at him from underneath ridiculously light lashes. He felt trapped, but his entire body tingled with anticipation, fear only a swirl in the cocktail of emotions rushing through him when Anders approached him. He gently put his lips on his jaw and kissed him there, barely a nip. 

“Relax, Fenris,” He murmured, “If I wanted you dead, you’d already be.”

“There are worse things than death,” Fenris muttered hoarsely. For a moment, Anders stopped and looked at him, really looked at him before his entire face softened. Instantly, Fenris panicked, bile rising up in his throat. Did the blasted mage know? Anders stopped him before he could scramble away, swiftly pressing himself against Fenris.

“I won’t hurt you,” He told him, his voice softer than it had ever been when directed towards Fenris. “This is your show, remember? You want something, you tell me and I’ll do it. You don’t want something, you stop me.”

“Of course,” Fenris snapped and he could hear his own defensiveness. Pressing his lips together in quiet fury because of himself and because of this fucking mage, he pushed him forcefully, causing Anders to land backwards in the soft carpet, sprawled underneath him with a surprised expression in his face. It caused enough satisfaction in Fenris for him to lean forward and press his lips against Anders’.

He didn’t know how to kiss somebody properly. Only free men were allowed to kiss and he had never been a free man when he had been with Master.

“Fenris,” Anders murmured almost soothingly, thumb rubbing over the elf’s wrist where his pulse had started to race. “It’s fine.” When he kissed back, it was gentle, but not overly so; there was some pushing back, insistent nipping on Fenris’ lower lip until Fenris growled and bit him, causing Anders to moan. At that, Fenris blinked before it again, experiencing Anders’ hands tightening around his shoulders. There was no denying that the mage was more beautiful than he deserved and he still was gentle, as if feeling that Fenris would rip his fucking throat out if he even attempted to hurt him in the slightest. Anders always had been nothing if not perceptive about others. “What about the rest of your armo-“

“Shut up,” Fenris growled and to his surprise, Anders did exactly that, lips wandering over the tips of his ears instead, causing him to stifle a groan. Almost without thinking, he thrust his hips against the mage’s, causing him to make another of these breathless moans and arch up against him, nimble fingers dancing along the lines of lyrium on Fenris’ body. When tiny sparks of shock jolted through his body and caused the heat to pool directly in his groin, all thoughts fleeing from his brain, he couldn’t help but groan helplessly, realizing the source of this delicious feeling was in fact magic that fled in tiny, pretty sparks from Anders’ fingers. 

For a moment, Fenris’ stomach churned and he had to struggle out another breath. “No magic,” He rasped, hating the slight feeling of regret when Anders immediately ceased his doing. “Magic ruins everything it touches.”

Anders narrowed his eyes and for a moment, bright blue rippled through his body, flashing through his eyes, only a brief reminder of the demon he carried inside him and gone as fast as it came when Anders took a deep breath and arched up against him again. “No magic then,” He promised almost amiably were it not for the look in his eyes, “Not tonight, anyways. Don’t you want to take off the rest of your clothes?”

Fenris licked his lips and thought about it for a moment, then he removed himself from the mage to put off the rest of his armor and the underclothes before lowering himself onto Anders’ naked body again. The mage was warm and, despite not being a warrior, his muscles were well-defined, his entire skin almost pale against Fenris’ darker one. He gritted his teeth when a wave of excitement and desire caused the lyrium lines to start to glow lightly, but Anders seemed completely fascinated, chasing them with lips and tongue and fingers as far as he could go. This was unlike everything Fenris had ever experienced with sex. Anders was almost playful, fingers wandering here and there while his hips started to rub against Fenris’ in a slow, almost enchanting rhythm. 

He whimpered quietly when Fenris hesitantly started to touch him as well. He had never been allowed to-

“Touch me,” Anders whispered breathlessly when Fenris didn’t move, fingers trembling uselessly against the mage’s stomach even when Anders’ legs fell apart even more than before. “Please? Please touch me, this is so frustrating.”

“Didn’t you say this is my show?” Fenris asked and was surprised to find that he was a little out of breath as well. It felt strangely enticing. 

“Still is fucking frustr---oh Maker, yes,” Anders hissed when Fenris grabbed a fistful of his stupidly nice, blond hair to force his head backwards, exposing his throat and allowing Fenris to sink his teeth into it. He felt Anders’ cock jerk against his hip, sending sparks of heat through Fenris’ body that were entirely different than the magic sparks from before, but still good, very good indeed. He didn’t complain when Fenris pressed down harder against him. “You know you can---I’m already prepared, so just---you planned on fucking me, right? Because if you didn’t, I’d be pretty disappoint—are you alright? Fenris?” He blinked up in utter confusion when Fenris didn’t move and vehemently shook his head, fear mixing with desire in a confusing manner.

“You’re a mage,” He said, “But I won’t hurt you like this.”

“It doesn’t hurt, it-“

“It always hurts.”

Anders stared at him for a long time before taking one of Fenris’ hands and pulling him closer. “No, Fenris,” He said very gently, “It should never hurt.”

The elf swallowed heavily when Anders slipped two of his digits between his lips and started sucking on them, all the while never taking his eyes off him and rubbing his hips in that unnerving rhythm against Fenris’. Fenris breathed in deeply, unable to look away from the scenery in front of him, and slowly touched one of Anders’ cheeks.

“You really want me to do it,” He said, hearing the own wonder in his voice because he didn’t, couldn’t understand. “Are you…Do you really mean it?”

In response, Anders moaned softly around his fingers and wrapped his legs around Fenris’ hips in one single, fluid motion, coaxing him closer and closer against him. Fenris swallowed again, torn between desire and the urge to beat some sense into that blasted mage. Resisting these eyes, however, and the mouth that slowly let go of his fingers to draw him into a passionate kiss instead, proved almost impossible and he---he wanted, wanted to feel more of that heat, more of that firm body beneath his own, more of this freeness with which Anders gave over his body. He wanted to learn how to do the same. 

Sinking into Anders’ body was surprisingly easy; he was slick and open, a circumstance that was completely strange to Fenris even though he had overheard more than one of Isabela’s and Varric’s discussions about topics like this one. Up to now, he had never really believed that what they talked about was true; after all, he had always had very different experiences.

How strange it was to once again discover that what he experienced was not normal among free men, but then again, he hadn’t be a free man back then, had he.

Anders all but welcomed him in his body, pressing his heels into Fenris’ back to urge him closer, deeper, crying out in pleasure when Fenris was seated all the way in him and almost immediately starting to thrust against him, fingers clenching and unclenching around Fenris’ shoulders, leaving the slightest burns when he unconsciously scratched him. Fenris, dazed and confused, was so overwhelmed that he didn’t even notice. His thrusts came completely automatically, as did the bites he littered Anders’ shoulders and neck with. The mage didn’t complain; quite the contrary. 

“Maker, you really like this, don’t you?” Fenris huffed out and Anders grinned up at him, eyes wide and almost blown while he moaned unashamedly and arched up against him, hair fanning out around his head like a pool of golden blood. Instead of answering him, however, the mage simply took one of Fenris’ hands and wrapped it around his cock, sighing as if freed from a heavy weight and bucking up against him until Fenris hesitantly started to move his hand. It didn’t take long until he could feel Anders tense beneath him, a wordless cry falling from his lips when he came all over Fenris’ hand. The feeling of the mage tensing around him, the open expression of bliss on his face and the way he tightened his grip around Fenris’ shoulders, it was all too much. He fought against the climax, avoided it out of a deep, dark sense of shame and guilt, but it was to no avail; only moments later, he was shattered, falling apart in a rapid way that made him bite into Anders’ shoulder almost helplessly.  
For a moment, they just lay together trying to catch their breath. Fenris tried not to think about what he had just done and with whom, tried to shut down his thoughts and enjoy the relaxed state his body was in, tried to remember how much worse this could have gone, but all he could think of was that he had slept with a mage, again, and willingly so.

Anders was not like Danarius, however. Not at all.

With a deep sigh Anders lifted one of his hands and gently carded it through Fenris’ hair. “You alright?” He murmured in the soft voice he usually used for badly injured patients; hearing it now was strange and unwelcome because Fenris felt raw and vulnerable and he didn’t- he couldn’t allow a mage, a _mage_ of all things-

“I have to go,” He said almost unthinkingly, slipping out of Anders and hesitating for a second when the mage made a quiet noise of discomfort before sitting up. “Are you… I hurt you.”

“You didn’t,” Anders said and sat up as well, trading a hand through his blond strands and looking at him.

“You’re bleeding,” Fenris pointed out, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. He wanted to go back to the state where he could snap at the mage without thinking. Now the only thing that came to his mind was the way Anders looked at him right now and it was strange. “On your shoulder.”

Anders didn’t stop looking at him while he healed himself, magic flitting over his body like a tender lover. “I am fine, Fenris. I like it a little rougher. You didn’t hurt me and you don’t look fine. Do you want to talk ab-“

“Fuck you, no,” Fenris snapped and immediately felt a little relieved. Anders didn’t even bat an eyelash at his rude tone, instead pursed his lips a little and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at him with blue sparks flickering in the deepest depth of his eyes. 

“What’s wrong, Fenris?”

“Everything, I am- everything.” The words escaped his lips before he could think about it; feeling embarrassed and foolish, he stood up to slip into his clothes. He could feel Anders’ eyes burn holes into his back and he cursed him, cursed this abomination with his demon and his sharp tongue and wanton moans and gentle hands because he didn’t know what to do with it. This had been a bad idea and he had known from the start, only it had turned out to be bad in entirely different ways than he would have thought.

“You don’t have to go right away, you know,” Anders said softly. He still hadn’t moved besides sinking back into the carpet. “You can stay, we can talk about it. Or don’t—don’t talk about it, but-“

“I can’t,” He muttered, feeling useless and frustrated with himself, so he clenched his hands into tight fists. “Not…Don’t press me, I would have never thought- this was a bad idea.”

“Good things can come from bad ideas,” The mage said softly.

Fenris hesitated, then he shook his head and forced out, “You probably have some other… guests to attend to. That lifestyle seems to make you happy, so just… Don’t complicate things more than they already are. This is… I am going now.”

“Well, thank you for the experience,” Anders said, but his words were sharp around their edges. He still didn’t move, so Fenris did it for him. He didn’t look back when he left the room, tried not to mull over the chaos in his mind when he stepped out of the corridor. He should have known better than to bed a mage. He should have known better than to listen to the advice of a mage. He should have known better, but he hadn’t and this was the result. 

He could still feel Anders’ kiss when he stepped out of the streets of Hightown.


End file.
